That moment when..

You realizing that you are changing and some of the things that mattered, doesn’t anymore.

I don’t know why, but I really feel that my heart is changing.. for the better. I pray all the time to God that he will remove anything of me and place His will in my heart.. I know I’m not going crazy.. It’s happening. & honestly it’s a beautiful feeling. I want to crave God more and more.. I know I get distracted at times and worry about things that aren’t important. I’m human and I can’t help it. I’m trying to let go of the things on Earth and try to reach a better goal.

I don’t want to be a slave of materialistic things.

I want to be better than I was before.

I want to love. LOVE Unconditionally. Even when others do me wrong. I want a heart like Jesus.

Clinging on to temporary things will get you nowhere. I’m starting to realize that now. Removing myself from them is the only way. It might not make sense to some, but it’s definitely making sense to me. I’m going to go on a mental, physical, and SPIRITUAL cleanse. I need to meditate. I HAVE TO MEDITATE. Having a peaceful and content heart is what I’m needing.

At this point in my life. I am 22 years old, still trying to figure out myself. Before, when I would see others in my major going for what they want, figuring out what they’re going to do, I would get jealous. Now, I’m not anymore. I can honestly tell you that I am going into my future with no idea of what God has in store. Trusting God and having faith is the only way I will be alright. I have to stop stressing out about the little things.


My Inner Circle

First and foremost, I want to apologize again for not posting as much as I should. Today, I did make it official and got me a new domain name. I’m real excited about that. I pray that each and every one of you are being encouraged today and you are all continuing to keep a positive attitude.

Today I want to talk about my Inner Circle. For those of you who don’t know me at all, I am a loving, outgoing person who can just about talk to anyone. At the same time, I like to keep to myself and not be around people constantly. It gets to the point where people can drain me mentally. Not a bad thing, that’s just how I am.

I remember 2-3 years ago, as I was writing in my Journal, I was going through a phase in my life when I was just hanging around temporary people. People who I knew did not benefit my life in any way, shape, or form. Now, I know that God will place people in your life for seasons at a time, but I was constantly being “lonely” and I would just surround myself with people “just because”. One night I asked God, if he can bless me with just two women of God who loves Him and will push me to Him. Two friends that will be my permanence. Two Friends that will be in my life forever. Who will love me for me. Through the good and the bad. Two friends who will encourage me and be honest with me even I don’t want to here it. Also friends that knows how much I cherish my space and my quality time who won’t constantly blow up my phone every 3 seconds. Lol. That’s the introvert in me.

I don’t want to say that I’m specific about people or asking too much, but the words Best Friend is such a huge deal to me. I don’t say that often because in the past the words were abused. So anyway, as time went on. God revealed them to me.

These two women who I love so dearly are my happy place. Actually they are two people I would never expect. That’s the beautiful thing about God. He can surprise you in ways that you can’t even imagine. I won’t say their real names, but I’m sure over time they will be revealed as the blog expands.

See, when you’re patient with God, he will bring people in your life at the perfect time. One of my best friends, we actually knew each other for a long time, but our younger sisters were best friends. Our relationship then was on that Hi/Bye basis. Nothing major. We both ended up going to college together and we had a class together. One conversation after another, the friendship blossomed to something I would have never imagined.

The other best friend. We’ve met at work. We didn’t talk to each other at first. Lol in fact I thought she was rude. Look at me jumping to conclusions before I meet someone. Lord fix me. Haha. Also I went to the same church as her. Over time we had a conversation about a particular person and it blossomed ever since.

These two ladies are my soul sisters. For real.

The whole point of this topic is don’t just surround yourself with anybody. the company you hang around, reflects who you are whether you agree with it or not. Don’t surround yourself with negativity either. Ask God to show people in your life who does not need to be there. God will help you with the process of elimination. If you knew how many people I’ve dropped out of my life. It was so hard, but I knew that it needed to be done.

God is so good. He will never leave you or forsake you. Trust him through the process.


Social Media… HmmHmm!

Ok let me get real with you guys for a second. My best friend and I decided that on New Years Day we will be on a Social Media Fast for a WHOLE MONTH. A month!?? That’s correct. I’m right now giving up Instagram and Facebook. I have multiple reasons which I will explain at the bottom:

  1. I was distracted and my phone would constantly be in my hand 25/8.
  2. Comparison and wishing.
  3. Was more focused on the lives of others besides my own.
  4. It’s “reality” but not real.
  5. Jealousy
  6. Steering me away from God.
  7. Kept me distant from the important things.
  8. School was about to start and I need to get me head together.
  9. I knew it was bad If I woke up in the middle of the night 4x’s to check my notification
  10. It became a PRIORITY.

Geez isn’t that sad!? Ridiculous what something so small can impact my life. Let’s start with the phone.. OMG man it was bad.. I would be with my boyfriend in the movies. I would dim the light and hide it under my jacket and check it. I will be at a restaurant with a friend and check it constantly. Before I go to bed I will check it. In CLASS I would check.. OK, ok you get the point.. It was ridiculous. 

Comparison and wishing. hmmhmm we’ve all done that. You look at someone else’s life ehemm (celebrity) and you wishhhh you had that car, the bag, their hair, their body! I am really into health right now and getting my body on track. I told myself, “LEt me follow a lot of fitness blogs to get some inspiration.! nopeeeeeee it turned into decreasing my esteem 50%. Now im not saying that happens to everyone.. But it happens to me lol.

Focusing on the lives of others is not a good thing if you are putting them before you. Especially when they don’t even give a dang about you. I would always be online seeing what’s going on with other people’s lives.. ex: “Hmm I wonder if she broke up with that guy yet.” or “I hope he know that girlfriend of his is messing with another guy.” Stupid ish that is really irrelevant.

What you see on Instagram, twitter, or facebook is what they want you to see. We really don’t know what they are really going through. We don’t know how they got to where they are. We want the cake and the ice-cream. A lot of people worked hard to get what they have or to get to where they are. We never see that. Sometimes we have that gimme gimme gimme mindset but all we do is sit on our butts. Or we will try to the quick stuff that is temporary. Now on the other hand some people might have done dirty things to get to where we are. Will we ever know? Probably not. That’s why it’s never good to be JEALOUS of what they have. #1 All of that stuff is temporary and it will all disappear after we die. Sorry. Not really. Hell just because a lot of them have material things doesn’t mean they aren’t happy. Appreciate the things around you. Your time will shine. Positively I hope. Lol

Steering me away from God! MAnnnnnnnnnn let me tell you. I would avoid reading my Bible. Better yet I would have the Bible in my hand trying to read but in the back of my mind Im wanting to check my phone to see if I have a notification. I would be journaling and trying to talk to God but I see that my phone lit up and I would stop what I’m doing and read it. Gosh it was terrible and one thing about GOd is that nothing comes before him. And social media was doing that. I didn’t realize it. I promise I didn’t. It took this fast to realize that more and more I’m growing closer to him. IN 15 days mayne! I love him dearly!

School school school! I’m a Junior in college and honestly I can get distracted. We’re human right!? Nobody is perfect lol. I need to get my head in the game. the books I read and test I take will take me far. Not the nonsense on the internet that is just so addicting! Also my problem of literally waking up in the middle of the night to check my media was bad. I drink a lot of water so I at least go to the bathroom 3-4x’s a night! TMI? Uhhh no. I always take my phone with me and stay on the toilet for at least 10min after I finish my business. TERRIBLE MAN. What has happened to me. smhhhhhhhhh.

Point of this is. I’m glad this fast is helping me to realize how much social media has taken a toll on me. It’s like my eyes have been removed by the blinds that were covering it. I can think clearly. Focus a lot better. have more meaningful conversation. etc! Now just know that I am not bashing social media! This is just all of my personal experience. IT’s great to communicate with friends that you don’t see all the time online. but don’t like the cyber world become your reality!

I want everyone to do this challenge. Try to give up all your social media for just 1 month. If you can’t do that, try it out for a week. and see what kind of difference it really makes! You will be surprised!! I pray that you all have a blessed day!


Enjoy Your Trials.

Romans 5:3 (We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.)

1 Peter 1:7  (These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.)

Sooo!!!! First off I want to see how you guys are all doing!? It’s been a few weeks since I did a blog post. I’ve been really taking time off from being online to enjoy times with my family over the holidays! I hope you guys enjoyed your Christmas and is having a blessed new year!

I want to talk to you all about TRIALS! How awesome are they!?? I’m sure you’re thinking what?? Lol. We go through the bad to get to the good. We are building character. We are getting stronger. There is a reason for everything. When something bad goes on in your life. Still go to God and rejoice in him. Trust him. Have faith. There is always a reason! When you are going through these rough times it shows you who you really are! Be strong. Don’t give up.. You are being tested. How much do you trust God? How much do you depend on God? Use these trials to call on God.. He wants you to rely on him. Cry to him. It’s so beautiful knowing that we are His children, that he loves us so much. We have an advantage. We can go to him whenever we want to! Nothing can be done if faith is not activated! God works on faith. Stop having doubt. It is all about God’s timing. Let him work. When times are getting hard, God is working 10 times harder. Try to look at the positive things even when the negative is overpowering. God is with us. Remember that someone is going through a lot worse than you are. 10 years from now You can be able to look back at everything you went through in the past and just smile knowing that it was all worth it. I pray that you all continue to trust him through the storm. Praise him and rely on him. It is all worth it knowing that God provides.


Suffering.

suf·fer·ing: the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship.

I was watching the Steve Harvey show yesterday and there was a family who in the past had so many hardships. Finances was a big struggle. All of a sudden Steve Harvey surprised them with a whole new home and interior home decor. I was at work smiling hard and shedding tears. I then realized that my purpose in life really is to help others and GIVE GIVE GIVE. I want to help so many families build back up again. I don’t like seeing people struggle. It really is hard for me to especially see the ones I love go through bad times. I sit here wishing I can do something about their pains. I am also going through financial hard times. Duh, I’m a college student. I know God will help me to fulfill his purpose that he has for me. I’m just one person. I want to help as many as possible no matter how long it takes. To the ones reading this: Don’t just sit their. get up and do something. Whether it’s helping someone in the neighborhood, paying for someone’s groceries, tutoring etc.. one small gesture definitely makes one big difference. 

 

Dear God, 

Please remove any selfish bone from my body. Help me to help millions not suffer. Help me to give with love, not for recognition. I want people to see Jesus in me. Help me to be a light in this world that I live in. Help me to spread love throughout this universe. 

Amen. 


Do Not Compare.

Sometimes it’s hard to focus on yourself when you have everyone else around you doing amazing things. I struggle with that a lot. I see one chick in front of me with scholarships coming in like crazy. Another guy is traveling around the world. These people have their own business and is very successful. I use to ALWAYS compare myself to others like why can’t I do this? Why can’t I do that? At the end of the day I am the one doing the damage. God has a plan for all of us. Our times of success and wonderful accomplishments will soon come. We need to be patient. Instead of putting all of our attention on goals, accomplishments, and dreams we need to put all of our trust in God. He is who we need to give attention to 24/7 then everything will come into place. God knows our hearts. We need to remember that God’s Will is much bigger than our own. Trust him and he will make everything happen on perfect timing. Do not lose track of things that aren’t important. All we can do is take it one day at a time. Everything that is going on in our life happens for a reason. Then when we get to that point in our life where everything comes well, we will look back and see that everything we were going through built us up to the point of where we are. We will be stronger, wiser, and a lot more knowledgeable. Be still. Breathe for a second and appreciate life now. Don’t waste time complaining and comparing.


Cherish your ones…

Today I just found out that a classmate from High School that I graduated with died. He committed suicide. It was definitely hard news to bear. The last time that someone died that close to me was my father and I was 9 years old. I don’t really know how to deal with death… Life is way too short man. I call this Cherish Your Ones, not cherish the ones. Everyone was blessed with those amazing people in their lives. Let me start by saying that no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. Stop holding onto grudges and stop being spiteful. It’s so pointless. You NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY WILL BE TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU. That’s just the truth. Enjoy them. Love them. Appreciate them. Whatever happened in the past let it go and settle your differences. PLEASE. Find the peace in your heart to let go of any hate you know why? Because letting go of the bad, hurtful past will make everything in the future go so smoothly. Call your parents, siblings, your pet for crying out loud and let them know that you love them. You never know what a person is going through man. Sometimes a smile is just ENOUGH. I pray that God will give you guys a forgiving heart no matter what that person did. Life. Is. Way. Too. Short. 


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